Why.

I had a bit of a rough weekend emotionally. I don't know if I am over sensitive but amongst it all there was a question asked, Why do I go on face book? Well I have slept on it and I have thought long and hard.

 I live quite a solitary life really, not though conscious choice but  though life circumstance. I still require human interaction, because I am an extrovert by nature. I am alone with a 3 year old at the moment , not a single mother my wonderfull partner works away, and before that I was a single mum  working shifts and raising children on my. This lifestyle on its own makes for a rather lonely existence. I was part of the team at work but because I worked in many and varied parts including cross campus of the hospital I was employed in I didn't hang around long enough in one place to make lasting friendships. Shift work isn't great for socializing either and I am not really the night clubbing kinda gal. so that usually leaves me home alone on the computer.

I met my partner on line, I have many friends who inspire me, online, and interact with me in a positive manner. On face book I have my cousins and this saves lots of phone calls.   I spend allot of time on the phone but interaction with my mother, father and step mother is not always positive and often frustrating, she does not live my life. I love having another form of media to interact with my partner as phone calls become very expensive as time goes by and you have to have the same conversations over the phone  or on line that can take a long time to resolve.

 I have been abused in every manner all of my life. I don't use this as an excuse but rather as a lesson and what makes me strong this also makes me rather shy with all of the crap in my life. Two of my children live with my abuser who likes to rattle my cage occasionally this happened again on Friday when he demanded money from me that I personally cannot give him nor, am I entitled to give him. My Child support has been calculated and he has a rather decent income. along with his wife they also live in public housing.  I am not a dead beat mum, I do provide for all my children the best way I can.

 I have proof of my good mothering I encouraged my big girls to carry on with education after living with their father and step mother, one quit school at 15 the other wagged school for 2 years skipping year 9 and 10 and half of year 11 , only coming back to me when she realized she can't go on living that way. She completed her VCE and is now at RMIT doing textile design the other one starts a pre law advanced diploma today. Both young women thank me for getting them on track. I got the phone call today when my " lawyer to be" was getting frustrated getting lost doing orientation. I got a visit from the other one elated over her first assignment and day.

I am sick to death of being emotionally bashed because it is not a shit stir  I can take stirring  I don't like bitterness and jealousy directed at me.  This is what my abusers have said to me to continue abusing me. When certain words get strung together my hackles raise and I will stand and fight because when I take flight I flay far and fast this is not always a good thing. If you haven't been abused for a long period you can never truly understand what I mean.

 I travel 160 km a day to go to uni. I make things for my children I bake, preserve, sew, play guitar, read, play web games, zumba, ride horses and walk in this gorgeous part of Victoria because I love life and it keeps me positive and connected with the world in a positive way. If it is not liked then have a look at what you do or don't do. I am still an effective mother, my children know I love them  and they now want to make me proud of them. All I did was provide a home where ever I am and a soft loving place to land, so that they can find their feet in a very difficult world. As a result my children are resilient and strong enough to take the world and all it has to offer by the horns.

I am not a perfect mother but I am the best I can be it doesn't mean any other way of parenting is bad or wrong I am not judging any one for how they parent because I hate being judged harshly my self. I see the wisdom in Jesus' 2 commandments and I have done my best to live by them even in the face of adversity. I don't have paid employment at this point in time. I know my limits.  I have a little girl that needs me here and now I hate the days I go to uni with out her and have to leave her in child care. I hate having to ask any one to look after my child and have nearly quit many times just because of this. It makes me physically ill to ask for help with my children because of my past.  I have been rejected so many times I really don't bother asking for anything.

 No pictures this time jam is jam to me its just a way to preserve and not waste  I never expected that and activity of daily living to create such a huge controversy amongst my family/inlaws.

Alice in Wonderland

Where did that white rabbit go?

Quick I think he went up here!

Chasing after the Disney Princess theme  through the eyes of a 3 year old I was up till 1am last night making Alice , as you do.

Alice again is a combination of Enid dresses and the blue dress is chambray when I made it I thought it looked almost like those old fashioned orphanage uniforms a very plain foundation dress and it is the one for 5-6 year olds. The apron is the pinny from "Little Coats and Dresses"  just leaving out the back part of the skirt, for a very Victorian apron look I suppose I'll have to make a big white multi layered petticoat to go underneath shhhhhh.

She went to sleep Zoe and woke up Alice. :)

So I thought I'd get domesticated

Skirt that is. Whilst reading one of my favourite forums  craftymammas, I happened upon this skirt. now its not often I'll show my belly as it has had 5 children in it and i am far from a size 10 but this skirt had me and had to be made. Well because I have a few more extra exaggerated curves I put a button in the middle of the back and front of the skirt and a button hole in the top corners so if I felt like a tie I could do that too I do like the button idea as it a bit more secure than a tie and by hemming rather than binding I managed to make 2 of these skirts in an hour. Pretty darned amazing I'll say. I used dark denim and quilting cottons from my stash. Stitched in yellow 

Princess Zoe still wearing her dress

Yeah its not often id let any one see that belly! 

Can't believe that This is the last year of uni and placement starts week 2 that in 4 weeks time OMG!  There will be more sewing between now and then hehe.

Beauty and the Beast

  What more could a little girl want more than a princess dress after a bit of thinking i had a look at what i had and I thought if I morphed 2 Enids together I would have the bodice for Belle's dress Even down to the pointy waist, because every princes had to have that feature in her dress.

 This was the result

Belle and her beast. DH found  Beast beside  the railway track  he had a bit of stuffing knocked outta him, so we tended his wounds. Now he lives here in our enchanted castle now LOL.

Well you see you cant take a dress like this off Its just not right.

Snow white scares the heck out of me now but Alice is next apparently.   I already did Alice though..........

Happy Straya Day!

I made a "solar dress" from some Chinese made bandannas that were in the supermarket yesterday perfect for Australia day the hat was from the Herald sun  She loves it

 I don't think you can see it but this dress has a v waist I love them just like a princess.  Its an Enid Gilchrist dress too, ment for a heavier fabric but I think this is pretty.

A little poser in the dress she requested, is oh so full and if you put a petty skirt on under it it just poufs out like a big ball gown.
 She loves it.

Sewing Summer

A circle skirt long and languishing sorry about the side angle.
An Enid Gicrhist pini
The Solar dress from Indeitudes http://indietutes.blogspot.com/2010/08/solar-dress-free-pattern.html. This dress used 2 canteen bandannasand I used elastic cause it was pretty and i had some lying around.
2 more stash busting circle skirts How "Mad" is the skully one? The other one is so tiny I wasn't sure it would make it below her undies but it does and its probably her favourite one

I also made a couple of baby nighties for a friend who had a baby just before midnight new years eve. No pictures of them sorry :( But they Were Enid Gilchrist raglan wrap nighties.

My older children lived in them when they were tiny Zoe was the only one who missed out on these treasures.

I have more for another post some grown up things for me. I call all this stress sewing we can't go away due to lack of finances so to keep my mind happy I am sewing it used to be baking but I haven't even got enough to bake and fructose intolerance is a bugger when I have to totally relearn every thing about cooking.

The effects of Clincals and study

It has been a while since I made a post. This is because I have been studying for end of year exams and I have had 8 weeks clinicals meaning not allot of time to blog but I did sneak in a BIT of sewing time. I made Zoobee's Christmas dress, she wore it to her child care Christmas party. Also a tea pot cosy so there are going to be a few pictures.

My teapot cozy a wonderful friend gave me some of her stash. I had no idea what to use

it for but my tea was going cold studying so I caved in to my inner Nana and had to make a cozy. It was a perfect match. Right way up a cozy for my big pot. And you can see the beautiful Geisha

My troublesome tea pots.

Zooebee's Christmas dress Yes its an Enid Gilchrist pattern and vintage fabric. She wore it to her child care's Christmas party .

She even didn't mind Santa this year. He was a bit skinny though hehe.

The infamous pattern that I don't have.

The walk-away dress I really don't see what all of the fuss was about. Yes Its an awesome dress but I had it done with its corresponding muslin and no pattern just before a 1.30pm lunch.

This dress is the first real thing I have made for my self. Really, after reading and googling all over the blogisphere looking at it and how people made it and fought with it I thought I would give it a go I am pretty darned happy with it and yes i made it and a muslin in time for a 1.30pm lunch. Not working too hard with it. I am chunky in the front big tummy and big boobs, I decided not to put in the front darts.

I am pretty happy with it, and it is totally wearable. The fabric for the dress is a Japanese print called "sevenberry" and I got it from Rathdown Remnants in Brunswick. OMG it was like I had died and gone to heaven Sooooooooo much fabric and ohh so cheap the dress cost me $15 in fabric there is 4 1/2 meters in it. Well somethings have to be worth waking up at 4 am.

Clinicals make me so tired and some days I don't even get to see my little one. Some times getting only 4 hours sleep. Coming home when the family is asleep and leaving before they wake up is not fun but it will be worth it in the end, I guess. Still I reckon most people would think I am studying sewing hehe.

It has been a cool start to summer hence the long sleeved tshirts under every thing.